February 23, 2024

I hate FedEx

It has gotten to where whenever I see a package is being shipped to me by FedEx, I cringe in horror. This is especially true when the package requires a signature.

Here is the latest tale. My package moved swiftly from San Diego to Phoenix to Tucson and is "out for delivery" this Friday morning. They have that part down and I am always amazed how they can move things around the country so efficiently.

The whole thing breaks down when it comes time to deliver to the customer. They tell me that I can expect the package today between 10AM and 2PM. So I dedicate the entire day to being on my porch, if necessary. I also discover that I can print forms, sign them and hang them on my door, authorizing them to leave the package without my presence. I do this. I print 2 copies, putting one on each entry door to my house. I do this just in case (as per Murphy's law) I am by necessity inside using the restroom or something when they arrive.

At 12:15 PM, more or less dead center between the predicted 10 and 2, I get a text message that they "attempted delivery, but customer was not home". But I was home, I have a working doorbell! I have the release forms taped up. I can only think that the driver went to the wrong address. They tell me they will try again tomorrow, but if the same (possibly clueless) driver goes to the same wrong address, this will merely repeat itself. There was no tag on my door which sort of indicates that they went to some wrong address. I inspected both of my neighbors houses looking for such a tag and did not see one.

At one time you could just go online and ask for them to hold the package at their center. This option seems to be gone. I would much prefer doing that (driving across town to sign for and accept the package) than waiting all day at my house maintaining a lookout for the delivery driver. The option to print the signature release form and tape it up sounded good, but did not work.

I called, and managed to get a human being after enduring their automated response system (that told me no more than what I had learned from the tracking number online). The woman I talked to was nice and said she would try to reach the driver and ask him/her to try again today. I was also able to give my cell phone number and perhaps that might get communicated to the driver.

I will note that their system already had my cell number (since I gave it to them asking for text updates). Imagine if that was also available to the driver and he/she

So, the story goes on. I heard a truck go by and rushed out and followed it down the street. But it was the UPS truck -- but then I look and the Fedex truck is in my driveway. I chase the truck down the street as it pulls out of my driveway, but have no luck getting his attention. He probably has headphones on listening to heavy metal music.

AGAIN, they do not find the signed forms I left, nor do they leave my package. Apparently these forms are absolutely meaningless, and worse than useless as the driver simply ignores them. They are worse than useless as they lull me into a sense of having a "backup" system in case I am in using the restroom or he can't find my doorbell. And the second time he again leaves no notice on my door. (Two failed visits and never a notice on the door).

So .. maybe tomorrow. At least I know they can find my address. I'll camp in my driveway.

The next day

I am up making coffee at 7:30 AM. The website is updated saying "out for delivery", but no time estimate. Sometime between dawn and dusk (or somewhat after). I camp in the driveway (actually the porch nearby). I catch up on friends making phone calls. I practice my banjo. I get busy doing landscaping work in the yard. At 2:45 PM, the truck rolls up. I get up from where I am digging and it is my lucky day. Well, it was only a 6.5 hour wait in my front yard to ensure I got the package. The driver says he wasn't the dude from yesterday and this is not his normal route, so no way to find out what went wrong (from the drivers view) yesterday.

As always with a FedEx shipment, you go through hell, but all is well that ends well. The box looks in decent shape. Everything inside is perfect. End of story.

Have any comments? Questions? Drop me a line!

Tom's gripes and complaints / tom@mmto.org